【www.zhangdahai.com--英语演讲稿】
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本1 TheCleverRabbits（聪明小兔） 角色： RedEyes（红眼睛）LongEars（长耳朵）ShortTail（短尾巴） BigWolf（大灰狼）Mot下面是小编为大家整理的2023年度5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇【通用文档】,供大家参考。
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本1
The Clever Rabbits（聪明小兔）
角色：
Red Eyes（红眼睛）Long Ears（长耳朵）Short Tail（短尾巴）
Big Wolf（大灰狼）Mother Rabbit（兔妈妈）
Storyteller翻译官
道具 房子，玩具、凳子，桌子，一棵树等。
布景 一座有门的房子里摆着一张桌子、几个凳子和一些玩具。
SceneI Three Rabbits（三只小兔子）
（一）
Storyteller:The Mother Rabbit has red Eyes,Long Ears and Short Tail.
兔妈妈有三个孩子，她给他们起名叫红眼睛、长耳朵和短尾巴。）
Red Eyes:（Coming to the front.上前。）
Hello!I"m Red Eyes.Glad to see you.
（你好！我是红眼睛。见到你很高兴。）
Long Ears:（Touch his long ears.着他的长耳朵。）
Hi!How do you do? Nice to see you.My name is Long Ears.
（嗨！你好！很高兴见到你。我叫长耳朵。）
Short Tail:（Show his tail.展示他的尾巴。）
Hello,boys and girls! I"m Short Tail.
（小朋友们，你们好！我是短尾巴。见到大家我很高兴。）
After this,they are playing games in随后，他们就在房子里玩游戏。）
（二）
Storyteller:A big wolf is hiding be-idea.Just then,the Mother Rabbit is the arm.
（一只大灰狼正躲在树后，他在打着坏主意。这时，兔妈妈提着一篮子萝卜回来了。） Mother Rabbit:（Singing a song.唱起了歌。） Little Rabbits,open the door.
（小兔子乖乖，把门开开，妈妈回来了。）
Big Wolf:Ah,I know their secret.啊，我知道他们的秘密了。）
Mother Rabbit:（Walking into the house.进了家门。）
Good evening,my children.Are you hungry?
Let"s have supper!
（晚上好，孩子们！你们饿了吧？咱们吃晚饭吧。）
Storyteller: The Big Bad Wolves（大灰狼来了）
Storyteller:Then next day,the（第二天，兔妈妈要出门了。）
Mother Rabbit:I am going to pick the door ,don"t open the door for strangers （我要去采蘑菇。千万记住，不要给陌生人开门。）
All:OK.
Storyteller:Three rabbits close the a while,they hear some one knocking at door.
Big Wolf:（Learn to sing.学着唱。）Little Rabbits,open the door.
Mother coming back.
（小兔子乖乖，把门开开，妈妈回来了。）
Red Eyes and Short Tail:Mother is（妈妈回来了。）
Long Ears:（Stop them opening the阻止他俩开门。）No.It"s not our mother.That isn"t like Mother"s voice. （不对。不是妈妈，那不像妈妈的声音。）
Red Eyes:Let me see.It"s not really（让我来看看。果然不是妈妈。）
Big Wolf:（Bang!Bang!Bang!）I"m your mother.Open the door in a hurry.
（我是你们的妈妈，快开门啊。）
Long Ears:All right.You must show your tail.
（好吧。那你必须把你的尾巴从门缝里伸进来）
Big Wolf:OK.
Storyteller:The clever rabbits clip the（小兔子把大灰狼的尾巴夹住了。）
Mother Rabbit:You Big Bad Wolf!（你这个大灰狼！）
Storyteller:With her words,she hits（说着，她捡起棍子狠狠地打大灰狼。）
Big Wolf:Oh.My God!My tail hurts.（噢。我的天啊！我的尾巴受伤了。）
Storyteller:The wolf"s tail is broken.
mother"s voice,they open the door and hug their mother.
（大灰狼的尾巴被夹断了，他逃走了。小兔子听到妈妈的声音，打开门，扑进妈妈的怀里。）
Mother Rabbit:My clever children.（我的乖孩子们。）
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本2
旁白：It’s a cold evening. The Titanic has sunken. Rose, Jack and Oscar are on the life boat floating in the ocean. This is Jack. This is Rose and this is Oscar, her husband-to-be.（边说边介绍，三人坐在课桌上）
Oscar: Oh, honey~ Are you OK? （边说边将手搭上Rose肩）
Jack: She is my girl.（打开Oscar的手）
Oscar: You are so cold.（脱下报纸披在R身上面向观众）what you wear, what you are.
Jack: What are you doing! （扔掉校服，脱下自己的羽绒服抖了抖，面向观众）BoSi*（波斯登）, warm and comfortable, it’s my choice.（将羽绒服披在Rose身上）
Rose:（向Jack）I love you.（向观众）But I love BoSi* more.
Oscar: Hey! She is my wife-to-be, who are you?
Jack: I am I. Wo de di pan wo zuo zhu（我的地盘我做主）.
Oscar: People on the Earth all know, She, and I, will go to New York to have our wedding. Rose: But now……
Jack: Don’t say any more! Take your knife out! （从口袋里掏出铅笔，紧握手中）
Oscar: Ok. Let’s go fighting! （同样掏出铅笔紧握手中）
Jack & Oscar: Fighting! （用铅笔互戳）----小蜜蜂~
Rose: No, no, no! Please stop! （拉二人）( J & O不小心将Rose推下桌子——落水）
Rose: Help, help!（Jack & Oscar将拉上Rose桌子）
Oscar: Honey, how are you?
Rose:（向观众）PiaoRou（飘柔）, just so confident~（甩头发）
（Rose不小心推Oscar，Oscar落水） Oscar: Help, help!
Rose: Oh, no! （向Oscar伸手）（Jack抓过Rose的`手，对视）
Jack:（唱）你是我的玫瑰，你是我的花…You are my life, you are my honey~
Rose: But……what about Oscar?
Jack: Don’t pay attention to him.
Rose: OK. Darling~ I love you, loving you, like mouse love rice~
旁白：At this time, Oscar has been far away……Jack and Rose are still floating in the ocean. It’s colder and colder.
Jack: Do you feel cold?
Rose: Yes. You see we are so lonely.
Jack: Don’t worry. I have this! （从口袋里掏出打火机，并向观众展示）This is a magic DaHuoji（打火机）.（Jack按下打火机）（Superwoman上，胸前贴一张纸，上书S）
Superwoman:（向观众）Do you know who am I? I am Superwoman! The famous Superman is my brother. I’m willing to help others.
Rose: Would you please help us get awayfromhere?（Superwoman无视，面向Jack）
Superwoman: Oh, pretty boy~ Come here, I will save you.
Jack: Take my girl together.
Superwoman: No way!（Superwoman下）（Jack第二次按下打火机）
（Indian Princess上，向观众合掌问候）
Princess: I am a princessfromIndia.
Rose: Would you please help us get awayfromhere?
Princess: OK. I have a magic blanket, maybe it can take you away. Come on.（从口袋里掏出围巾）（Jack & Rose 尝试伸出脚，Princess上下晃动围巾）
Princess: Oh, no, it’s broken! My blanket! （边说边后退，渐远）
（Indian Princess下）（Jack第三次还没按，Harry Potter上，提着扫帚）
Harry: Yi? Where am I? （向观众）My name is Harry Potter. I’mfromHogwarts（霍格沃茨）. I lose my way.
Rose: Would you please help us get awayfromhere?
Harry: I really want to help you, but my ability is limited.（耸肩）
Jack:（愤怒地）Oh, my god! Go away at once! （指向前方）（Harry Potter下）
旁白：Suddenly, the life boat is shaking because Jack and Rose are too heavy.
Jack: Rose, listen to me. I love you, but I will leave you.The boat can’t support us for
a long time. You must live, so I will jump into the sea.
Rose: No, no, no. Jump or not jump, this is a question.
Jack: Then let the God decide it（二人低头虔诚祈祷状）
Rose: God will bless us.（Jack和Rose同时从身后伸出手来，包剪锤）
Jack & Rose: One two three!（Jack出锤子，Rose出包子）
Jack: I lose. You see, it’s God’s choice.（Rose连连摇头）
Rose: Oh, no. Jack, Jack, why your name is Jack!
Jack: I wish you a happy life. Good-bye!（Jack跳下桌子，Rose伸手拉，未果）
Rose: You jump, I jump.（Rose跳下桌子，O未死， 继续叫救命……）
（旁白唱my heart will go on，音乐起，全剧终。Jack & Rose跳舞，张开手臂经典动作作结。）.
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3
人物： rabbit（小兔），fox（狐狸），monkey（小猴），tortoise（乌龟），mummy bear（熊妈妈），baby bear（熊宝宝），lion（狮子），bird（小鸟）。
布景：大森林背景，舞台右角是一座小房子，一棵木瓜树，中间有一棵大树，舞台左角有一块大石头，左角后台阶上有两棵桃树。
（大幕在抒情、优美的音乐声中徐徐开启）
:In this beautiful forest, There live many lovely animals, they love each other and live a happy life!
在一个美丽的大森林里，住着许许多多的小动物，他们在一起相亲相爱，生活得可幸福了！
第一景：小动物群舞
小兔舞 （音乐：活泼、轻快、跳跃）
狐狸舞 （扭动腰肢，跳节奏感极强的迪斯科）
乌龟舞 （一伸一缩，音乐：缓慢、低沉、滑稽）
小猴舞 （调皮、灵巧，可用西游记主题曲）
（音乐转为轻柔、舒缓，小兔一人旋转跳舞，音乐渐弱转为流水声，舞台灯光转暗，布景为湖边，木瓜树下。）
第二景：:"咕咚"（清晰而响亮）
小兔：（吃惊的样子，四处看看）What’s the matter?
什么东西？
（倒退几步，拔腿就跑，正好撞上了狐狸。）
狐狸：（奇怪的神情）What’s the matter? Why are you running?
跑什么呀？出了什么事？
小兔：（气喘嘘虚的样子）："Gu dong, Gu dong is coming."
咕咚，咕咚来了。
狐狸：（害怕的样子）：Oh! Horrible, let’s run.
哇！太可怕了，让我们跑吧！
（这时候，熊妈妈提着篮子和熊宝宝从树后走出来，正好看到慌慌张张奔跑的小兔和狐狸。）
熊妈妈：（很惊奇的样子）：What’s the matter? Why are you running?
出了什么事？你们跑什么呀？
小兔、狐狸（合）：Gu dong is coming.
小熊：（害怕并躲在妈妈的怀里）mummy mummy, I’m frightened.
妈妈、妈妈，我害怕！
熊妈妈：（安慰宝宝）Oh! dear, Don’t be frightened, let’s run quickly.
乖宝宝，别害怕，让我们跑吧！快，快
（小猴、小鸟、乌龟在另一角台阶的桃树上看到，感到很奇怪）
小猴：（指着奔跑的小动物）Why? Why are they all running?
为什么，为什么他们都在跑？
乌龟：（很神秘的样子）Perhaps, A monster!
也许，是妖怪来了！
小猴、小鸟：（非常恐惧的样子）Oh, horrible, let’s run!
啊呀！太可怕了，快跑呀！
乌龟：（慌慌张张地跟在后面）wait! just wait.
等一等！
（大狮子正在一块石头下睡觉，众人吵吵闹闹的声音吵醒了它。狮子大吼一声，伸伸懒腰。）
狮子：（很生气的样子） It’s very noise! Why ? why are you all running ?
太吵了，你们为什么都在跑呀？
众人合：（上气不接下气的样子）Gu dong, Gu dong is coming.
狮子：（感到很奇怪）Gu dong , What is it ? Where is it?
"咕咚",什么东西？在哪里？
（大家你看着我，我看着你，都在摇头。）
小猴：（问熊妈妈）Where?
在哪里？
熊妈妈：（摇摇头，）I don’t know.（转而问狐狸）Where
我不知道。 在哪里？
狐狸：（摇摇头，）I don’t know.（转而问小兔）Where?
我不知道。 在哪里？
（众人把目光都集中在小兔的身上。）
小兔：（挠挠脑袋，指着对面）It’s over there.
就在那边！
狮子：（很神气的样子）Let’s go and see.
走，去看看。
（大伙互相看看，都表现出非常害怕的样子。）
狮子：（拍拍胸脯，很勇敢的样子）come on, follow me.
走，跟我走！
（音乐响，一段雄壮有力的进行曲，众人排着整齐的队伍，大踏步地往前走，快到树下时，脚步慢下来。音乐停，全场一片寂静。）
狮子：（四处张望）Where? There is nothing here.
在哪里？什么都没有啊！
（正在这时候，一阵风吹来，咕咚一声，一棵木瓜掉进了湖里。）
小猴：（指着湖边）Oh! It’s a papaya! Gu dong is a papaya!
噢！原来是木瓜呀！
（众人大笑，大幕在笑声中徐徐落下。）
The end.
全剧终
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇扩展阅读
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展1）
——三人英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇
三人英语搞笑话剧剧本1
3人短剧，简单有趣，每人不超过10句话，并且都是很简单的话，经理只有一句词，但是还比较有水*。由一个笑话改编。
最后结果出人意料，其实是服务生误解了顾客。
C,the customer.
W,the waiter.
M,the manager.
In the restaurant.
W:What can I do for you,sir?
C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg Soup.That"s all.
W:A moment.
W:Yours,sir.
C:Thank you.
C:Waiter.
W:Yes?Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:I"m sorry.Sir.I"ll change it for you.
W:Here your soup.Sir.
C:Thank you.
C:waiter!
W:Sir.
C:How can I have the soup?
W:Er.I"m terribly sorry.I change it in a second.
C:Sir.I"m sorry for the soup.Now is the soup.
W:OK.
C:Waiter!!
W:Sir?
C:Call your manager,please.
M:I"m sorry,sir,but what"s wrong with the soup?
C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON?
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展2）
——大学英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇
大学英语搞笑话剧剧本1
《英雄的黎明》背景音乐响起
旁白：话说当年秦始皇吞并六国，一统天下，却对六国百姓横征暴敛，以致民不聊生，六国刺客无不想刺杀秦始皇，为天下百姓报仇··秦始皇也发出悬赏令，捉拿刺客，有取刺客首级者，封千户侯····而刺客至今尚未捉拿归案，秦始皇终日战战兢兢，诚惶诚恐···赵高（张艳利饰）：皇上驾到
音乐《鬼子进村》奏起。
（秦始皇迈着本山步法上台，作鬼鬼祟祟状）
秦始皇（龙涛饰）：（对赵高）音乐停！停停！赵高啊赵高！说过多少次！怎么就教不会呢？音乐要符合人物形象，我有那么猥琐吗？专业一点嘛！
赵高：皇上，这个，奴才不专业啊
秦始皇：那你什么专业
赵高：奴才经济学专业
秦始皇：经济学怎么当了太监？
赵高：皇上您有所不知啊，现在工作不好找的嘛，太监已经不错了，还是公务员编制呢秦始皇：哎！说的也是啊
赵高：皇上，李相国求见
李斯（丁慧饰）：臣，同凤阁鸾台*章事，文渊阁大学士，军机处领班大臣，兼吏部尚书李斯拜见皇上！
秦始皇：哦，李爱卿啊，听说你最近在研究宏观经济学啊，这人民币到底升不升值啊？
李斯：启奏万岁，微臣不知，
秦始皇：你怎么能不知道哇，我炒外汇亏了好多钱的呀！（起身）赵高：皇上，注意形象！
李斯：皇上，臣有本要奏！
秦始皇：何事？
李斯：启奏陛下殿外有人求见！
秦始皇：何人？
李斯：此人自称无名，带刺客首级献予陛下！
秦始皇：此话当真？
李斯：微臣岂敢欺瞒皇上！
秦始皇：快快宣上！
赵高：宣无名上殿
无名：（冯涛饰） music!!!
（《动物世界》乐起，无名跳街舞）
秦始皇：（起身离座）哎呀妈呀，这家伙，非洲大草原来的哈！
无名：Nice to meet you!
秦始皇：Nice to meet you too!
无名：I am wuming
秦始皇：I am qinshihuang
赵高：皇上，注意形象！！
秦始皇：哦，对！（回到王座上）
无名：臣无名，叩见陛下！
秦始皇：你从何而来？
赵高：你哪个单位的？（态度很蛮横）
无名：臣来自广西大学商学院
秦始皇：怎么听着这么耳熟啊
赵高：皇上您忘啦，这广西大学商学院美女可多啦，您看看台下，个个都是国色天香啊秦始皇：哟，嘿嘿，（欲起身往台下）
赵高：皇上，皇上，注意形象
秦始皇：（恋恋不舍回到王座）
哦，无名，我来问你！
赵高：陛下，您应该称寡人
秦始皇：寡？我后宫三千佳丽，七十二妃，我还寡？
赵高：皇上，电视上都这么演的 （年会小品剧本）秦始皇： 哦，对，无名，寡~~~~寡妇问你
赵高：陛下，不是寡妇，是寡人
秦始皇：无名，寡人问你，你当真取来刺客首级？
赵高：不可能，你先拿出证据先！
秦始皇：可有证人？
李斯：臣可以做证
赵高：反对，反对对方辩友收买我方选手作伪证秦始皇：反对无效！李爱卿快快讲来！
李斯：启奏万岁，刺客首级已送到御膳房了
秦始皇：好！哈哈，
赵高：奴才跟着皇上有肉吃了
秦始皇：无名，快讲讲如何杀掉刺客的
无名：遵旨！陛下！事情是这样的！一年前我们被召，组成刺秦*，分别有长空，残剑，飞雪及臣，人称F4.
（介绍到各人时，分别挥手向观众致意，长空，残剑，飞雪，无名四人，唱《流星雨》，从高潮部分唱起，要模仿F4的动作，唱完歌，残剑飞雪退场）无名：那日，臣和长空聊天，长空喝了两杯酒，开始吟诗了长空（张林伟饰，河南话）：（酷酷地仰望天空）远看一座专家楼，近看一座专家楼，我左看右看，还是专家楼！
无名：（拍掌）好诗啊好诗！兄弟为何有此感叹？
长空：唉，我一代美男长空，一想到刺秦之梦想还未成真，就感慨万千，诗兴大发。（转身背对无名，）啊！大海全是水，蜘蛛八条腿！
无名：臣认为这是个杀他的好机会，于是臣使出了绝世神功--排山倒海掌！（拍到长空后背上）长空：啊，你你你~~~~~（退出场外，倒地）
背景音乐《无间道》响起
无名：（冷冷得看着长空离场的方向）对不起，我是卧底！
（残剑上场来，抽剑指向无名）
残剑（张旭饰，四川话）：无名，你个龟儿子，居然是个卧底！
无名：给我个机会，行不
残剑：咋个给你机会嘛
无名：我想做个好人
残剑：想做好人，门儿都没得
无名：你这是要我死
残剑：老子就是要整死你
飞雪（刘鑫鑫饰）：住手，你们为何自相残杀？
无名与残剑：他是卧底！
飞雪：到底谁是卧底?
无名与残剑：他！
飞雪：别吵！按老规矩，谁输谁卧底
无名与残剑：好
（《上海滩》音乐响起，无名与残剑相对而立，互相摆酷。在音乐声中互绕两圈，音乐一停，两人叫喊着冲向对方，冲到跟前忽然顿住，喊"剪刀石头布"猜拳）
无名：你输了
飞雪：残剑，想不到你是卧底！ （拔剑逼残剑到舞台边）残剑：我咋个是卧底嘛，冤枉啊，救命啊
（飞雪一剑刺向残剑，残剑中剑，退到场外死掉，啊的一声惨叫）无名：太极八卦掌（从背后给飞雪一掌，飞雪退到场外倒地）无名：（转过来面对秦始皇）臣就这样干掉了刺客们秦始皇：（大笑）哈哈！无名，你敢欺骗寡人。
无名：陛下何出此言？
秦始皇：因为残剑曾经行刺过寡人
（秦始皇离座，灯光打向秦始皇）
秦始皇：三年前，秦始皇正在御花园散步，忽然听见风萧萧兮---接着就看见残剑从天上飞了进来残剑：（做飞状）我是来杀你的！（秦始皇不理）我是来杀你的！（还是不理）我求求你不要不理我啊！我是来杀你的！ 秦始皇：（看看残剑）喜欢曾哥吗？
残剑：喜欢，尤其喜欢她的绵羊音（背景音乐绵羊音响起）秦始皇：喜欢她哪首歌？
残剑：狮子座！
（《狮子座》伴奏音乐响起）
秦始皇：一个人的时候 不是不想你
残剑：一个人的时候 只是怕想你
（残剑与秦始皇开始对唱《狮子座》，赵高与李斯皆作痛苦状，继而恶心状）李斯：陛下饶命啊！人家唱歌要钱，皇上唱歌要命啊！
秦始皇：残剑，你我虽如此投缘，但你却是刺客，寡人不能轻易放你，这样吧，你我斗一回合，你若赢了，寡人就放你走，来，请！
残剑：请！
（二人一起走向桌子旁边，拿起桌子上的牌，《侍魂霸王丸》背景音乐响起，两人做欲扔飞镖状，忽然《QQ欢乐斗地主》音乐响起，秦始皇和残剑开始斗地主。）秦始皇：对5
残剑：对6
秦始皇：三带一
残剑：同花顺
秦始皇：哈哈，飞机
残剑：炸弹（炸弹声响起，斗地主输了音乐响起）秦始皇：我输了，你走吧
残剑：（斗地主赢了音乐响起）告辞
!（向观众挥手离场）
（秦始皇回到座位）
秦始皇：寡人就这样放残剑走了，不过残剑一回去，寡人就派派福尔摩斯和福尔赭哩水暗中调查他了。
无名：外国人都请来啦？
李斯： NO,NO在下福尔摩斯。
赵高：在下福尔赭哩水。
合：我们是神勇二侦探。
无名：哇塞，你们真二！
李斯：据我们所查，残剑与飞雪早已陷入爱河了！
秦始皇：所以寡人猜想后来他们二人正在花前月下，谈论诗词歌赋，人生哲学。
（灯光打向残剑飞雪）
《美丽的神话》音乐起，飞雪与残剑做观月状
残剑：今晚的月亮真圆哪！
飞雪：是啊，今晚的月亮真圆哪！
残剑：你喜欢我吗
飞雪：喜欢
残剑：喜欢我哪一点呢
飞雪：喜欢你-------离我远一点
残剑：其实，我发现秦始皇是个好人，我不想刺杀他了！
飞雪：什么！（拿出了手机，拨电话）
（《DJ主人那家伙》响起）
无名：喂，小丽呀
飞雪：小丽你个头哇，我是飞雪 ,你在哪？
无名：我在海南炒房？ 飞雪：你还有心思炒房？残剑不想刺秦了！我准备和他回家卖红薯去了，刺秦的大业就交给你了！（挂掉手机，离场）残剑：飞雪，等等我撒（跟着离场）
秦始皇：然后你就受他们的委托来行刺寡人，对不对？
无名：不错
秦始皇：（看了看赵高和李斯）难道就没人冲上去保护寡人吗？
李斯：臣乃文臣，手无缚鸡之力，先行告退！
赵高（冲向无名，却从无名旁边穿行而过啦）：奴才是太监，来领工资混饭吃的，不会打架，奴才告退！
秦始皇：唉，天意啊。这冥冥之中自有定数啊！遥想当年，残剑与我如此相知，今寡人在劫难逃，就为他唱一首咱们共同喜欢的《狮子座》吧，七月份的尾巴，你是狮子座，八月份的前奏，你是狮子座。
无名：（秦始皇一开始唱，无名就作恶心状，后退，倒地，死亡）李斯：陛下，无名已被您恶心死了！
秦始皇：嘿嘿，这冥冥之中自有定数---（拈起一张牌，离场）音乐《雾色清晨》响起，残剑飞雪闲庭信步
旁白：（残剑和飞雪闲庭信步）无名未能完成刺秦的大业，众侠客从此也未提刺秦之事，天下终于安定，至于残剑和飞雪，也不再过问尘世间事，从此归隐江湖，过着神雕侠侣般的逍遥生活···（《纤夫的爱》背景音乐响起，残剑抓红绸绳拉纤状，飞雪牵着绳。众演员一起上场，拉纤，然后全体演员谢幕。）
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展3）
——英语搞笑话剧剧本 (菁选3篇)
英语搞笑话剧剧本1
人物：追星A, 追星B，追星C，明星，车主 旁白 经纪人
旁白：A girl is crazy about a star called Handsome+人名. Even when she is asleep, she can dream that man.
A：(打哈欠)，I need to go to bed, I’m so sleepy.(打哈欠)——边走边说 （趴在讲台上睡）
（进入梦乡）
旁白：In her dream……
(上台摆两个凳子，A做一个)
A：Oh, it’s a fine day. (假装看天) (然后突然不经意的拿起一本书翻看)
明星：(上台)：Oh, it’s a fine day. (然后坐凳子)
(A看着看着书，就不经意的往旁边看，然后再看看书，突然感觉不对劲，在意外的往旁边看，看到了自己最喜爱的.那个明星，十分激动，不敢相信这是真的)
A：Are you … are you that … super star?(激动地说不出话)
明星：（随意的回答） Yes, what’s wrong?
A: I’m your fan,super fan. Your photos are full of my bedroom, no, they are full of my house, including kitchen, living room, bedrooms, and… and toilet.
(激动，后面讲到厕所时，还有点不好意思)
(当明星听到厕所时，很惊讶)
明星：You are too…enthusiastic [in,θju:zi"?stik]. (有点嫌弃)
A: Can you give me your signature?
(讲到签名，明星就兴奋了)
明星：Ok ,of course!
A：（大声喊）Oh ,I will have the Handsome______’s signature
(突然，两个人跑过来，B把A给推开了然后两人问明星要签名)
B：Please ,please give me signature!!!!!!!
C: No, give it to me, to me!!!
(两人抢着，A一人孤零零的站在旁边，)
A: Why the result is this ?(抱头痛哭，边走边哭，然后走到睡觉的那个地方，恢复原来的样子，还有点啜泣)
A： Er? Where is it? Oh,it’s just a dream , but ,it’s a bad dream.
It’s too early, I want sleep.(又趴下去)
旁白：In her second dream, the scene is at the crossroads.
A: Look at the tall buildings, they like the …like the …I don’t have any adjrectives to describe them.
(明星上场，走在对面，也在欣赏某些东西)
A：Oh ,look at there, that man is like a star ! Oh ,Oh ,Oh ,(一次比一次激动)he is …..he is…..Handsome_______！I want his signature! But there is too much cars, What can I do? What can I do? I don’t care this any more, the signature is more important!
(正当他准备过马路时，车主做开车动作来了，将要撞A，A很害怕)
车主：Look out!
Aon’t come here, don’t come here!(闭着眼睛) (车主迅速下台)
（A突然站起来，睁开眼睛）
A：A dream .too? Oh, my god, Why do I always can’t get the signature? No, I must get it, sleep again! Yes ,sleep! But ,why do I stand here? I should lie in the bed. Whether these, I must go to bed and get the signature!(趴着又睡)
旁白：In her third dream
(明星在签名，A前面有B, C)
经纪人：One by one,Don’t be wrought-up
A: Yeah,I can get it at last. Before me ,there are only two people.
（到B）
B:I love you very much. My dreamlover.
明星：Thank you
(B下，C上)
C: Oh，I meet you ,can I hug with you ?
明星：Sure.
(两人抱了一下)
（到A）
A: I can get your signature in the end! I’m so excited
(明星面目有点难受的样子，手捂着肚子)
明星：Sorry, can I go to the toilet for a moment? My stomach is hurt a lot.(难受)
A: Yes, make yourselfe at home.
(过来一会儿)
A: Handsome_______ has gone to toilet for such a long time. Is he ok?
经纪人对A说：Sorry, the girl, Handsome_____ perhaps can’tcome here to give you signature, He is too hurt. He went home.
A: Ah? Why always me ? (伤心地离开，走到睡着的地方)
（突然起身）
A :Why always me ? I only want a signature~~ ai~~ What time is it now ? (看了一下钟，表情惊讶) It’s near 8 o’clock .I can’t arrive at the school on time! Oh no ,hurry up hurry up!
英语搞笑话剧剧本2
Justice Is The Winner(正义必胜)
by Cecilia Liu 劉怡芬
5人短剧。
人物
Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen
Eliza Lin: Daughter
Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside
Sano Hsieh: Small gangster(小流氓)
Trent Cheng: Big gangster(大流氓)
SCENE I
A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.
Mom: Hello~
Caller: (A boy is crying.) Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.
Mom: Are you crazy? I don’t have a son!!! Don’t try to cheat me. Stupid guy!
The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…
Mom: Hello~
Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?
Mom: (I recognize the voice.) You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Don’t do such a boring thing, O.K.? I won’t believe you.
Caller: Really? Listen to this.(A girl is crying on the phone, ”mom, help me~ help me~)
Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still won’t fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? (Hang up the phone more angrier.)
But the voice sounds like her daughter’s and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…
Mom: Eliza~
Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?
Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Let’s go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.
Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.
SCENE II英语剧本大全ww.coffbar.com
Because the mother didn’t believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.
The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.
The big gangster always focuses on what he’s doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.
Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! (The big gangster hit the small gangster’s head)
Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.
At this moment, the girl appears.
Small gangster: (Check the picture.) Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?
Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! It’s hunting time.
Small gangster: I’m so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!
Big gangster: (Hitting the small gangster’s head again.) Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Let’s make a move!
Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ I’m coming!!
Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?
Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?
Small gangster: (Murmuring) This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.
Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.
Eliza: Never mind!
Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?
Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.
Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…
Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.
Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.
Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.
Big gangster: It’s too complex. I can’t remember all the directions. I’m a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~
Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.
Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Let’s go!
Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.
Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.
Eliza goes with the gangsters.
In the gangsters’ car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, “Don’t move!” Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.
Eliza: What are you doing?
Small gangster: I’m kidnapping you!
Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.
Small gangster: (Talk to the big gangster.) Did you hear that, she is scared?
Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.
Eliza: Not funny! I’m hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!
Small gangster: Shut up. Don’t be so noisy!
Eliza keeps crying.
Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!
Big gangster: (Hit the small gangster angrily!) Idiot! I have a stupid partner. (Disappointed)
Eliza: I agree! (Nod head.)
Big gangster: Don’t cry baby, I give you a lollipop.
Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.
SCENE III
Mother is preparing dinner.
Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! I’m hungry! Hurry up!
No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.
Mom: Eliza, where are you? Don’t play hide and seek with me! It’s not funny. I’m hungry.
As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.
Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. I’m busy finding my daughter. Don’t bother me!
Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.
Mom: Good job! Tell her it’s time for dinner. I’m hungry!
Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!
Mom: Hey! Buddy! Don’t trick me!
Big gangster: Sure! Listen! (The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.)
Eliza: Hello! Mom! I’m here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.
The gangster takes the phone away.
Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.
Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.
Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?
Mom: Bargain is my hobby.
Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember don’t call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.
Mom: O.K. See you then!
At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.
Mom: Ha! (Mom shouts.)
The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangster’s fish is falling down on the floor.
Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Who’s there?
Mom: It’s me, Bunny Anderson, Eliza’s mother, Anderson’s wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.
Eliza: Hi! Mom, I’m here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?
Big gangster: Where is the ransom?
Mom: Release my daughter first!
Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!
Mom: No way!
And the battle begins.
Mom: Justice is always the winner.
Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!
Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.
Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, let’s interview the persons involved.
Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?
Small gangster: I……
Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? (Turn to the big gangster.)
Big gangster: None of your business. (Run to the wall.) Leave me alone.
Eliza: Me! Me!
Celine: What do you want to say?
Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!
Mom: My turn. My turn.
Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?
Mom: Well……
Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.
Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…
Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.
Mom: Right. And they…
Celine: They want to trick you, but…
Mom: But… enough. I’m hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.
Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And don’t deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.
英语搞笑话剧剧本3
第一幕 开场白
旁白：Long long ago there lived a beautiful princess, and there is a big family. But the hostess died. Her son is handsome and goodness. Her husband married another wife. The stepmother is very cruel to the son. One day their King will hold a ball and choose a prince for his daughter.
B: Girls in the other side look at me, look at me, look at me …I am David, handsome and cool. I try my best to loose my weight for this ball. This is my photo three days ago.
C: I am rich and humor. Look at my snow-white teeth, because I use the famous toothpaste---Peer.
A: Oh, Can I go to the ball?
B and C: No!
B: Look at yourself. The clothes are so bad and dirty.
C: Yes, yes.
B: Your hair …（用手拨几下）
C: What a mass!
B: Your face
C: Black and dirty, you seemed like a frog.（B拿出青蛙的照片）
B: How can you go to meet the beautiful princess?
Stepmother: OK, children, let’s go!
C: Mum, what about him?
Stepmother: You, just stay at home to do some housework.
A: But, Mum, I want to go there.
Stepmother: Oh, OK.
B and C: Mum, why do you take him? Don’t you think he will loose our face?
Finally, they go without A.
第二幕 仙女下凡
A: Why Why Why I can’t go to join that ball.
旁白： At this time a beautiful fairy appear.
Fairy: Ahh, my poor child! What things make you so sad?
A: The beautiful princess will held a ball, but my stepmother and my brothers don’t let me go there.
Fairy: My good boy, let me help you. (拿出一套礼服)
A:（喜出望外，准备去参加舞会。）
Fairy: Wait for a moment. Don’t forget your shoes.（拿出一双耐克鞋）
A: Thank you, my respectful fairy.
第三幕 一见钟情
旁白：A is wearing beautiful clothes going to the palace as quickly as possible, but his brother and stepmother have already arrived.
门卫：The next, the Trade’s first son.
B: Oh, beautiful princess. I have greatly admired you for a long time, and you are like a Pizza in my heart.
Princess: Please wait for a moment, what talent and skill you have?
B: I’ll sing a song for you. (Singing) Only you
Princess: Pass.
门卫：The next. The Trade’s second son.
C: La la I am a
Princess: Pass.
旁白：At that time A was appearing on the front door of the palace. All the people were shocked by his handsome and demeanor.
A: Beautiful princess. Can I sing a song for you?
Princess: Sure, please.
A: （扶着公主从宝座上走下，两人目光对视，走成一个圈，开始唱歌）。
旁白：All the people seem to disappear. Only A is left in the princess’s eyes. And so is the princess. Dang dang dang the clock strikes 12. A is waken from the happiness.
A: Princess, I must go now. I am very sorry.
Princess: Wait
旁白：In a hurry A dropped one of his shoes. But the princess was following him.
A: (A look at princess and that shoe he has to go into the forest.)
第四幕 丢失的鞋
旁白：The next morning, the guard brings the shoe to the princess.
侍卫：My princess, this is the shoe left by Yang Master yesterday.
Princess: That’s great! God save me! Go and declare: Whoever can wear this shoe will be my prince.
第五幕 结局
旁白：The guars declared this thing in the whole city and it caused a big sensation. The two prince of the Trade are more excited.
B: Oh, it’s so beautiful. I’m sure I can wear this shoe.
C: Do you think it is possible? Only I can wear that shoe.
Stepmother: Stop talking, my dear sons. Go to get ready for it quickly. The guards will come in no time.
旁白：A was sweeping floor more and more slowly. The guards came in.
侍卫：This is the shoe. Come and try it.
旁白：At this moment B caught it quickly, tried it and murmured.
B: why can’t I put it on?
Stepmother: My dear, let me help you.
旁白：The mother pulled B to the corner cutting his toe. Then B put the shoe very hardly.
B: My princess, let’s go.（一瘸一拐）
Princess: No, you are not my prince. Take off the shoe.
C: Let me try. Let me try. (murmuring)I cannot wear it either.
旁白：The mother pulled C to the corner again, and cut his heel.
C: My princess, let’s go.
Princess: No, you are not my prince, either. （一瘸一拐）
侍卫：Who else doesn’t try to put on the shoe here?
A: (In a low voice) Let me have a try.(A put the shoe without any difficulty. It just fit him. And A took off his dirty clothes again.)
Princess: Wow, you are my prince.
Princess and Prince got married. Then they live together and they are very happy.
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展4）
——5分钟英语演讲稿3篇
5分钟英语演讲稿1
Most people would like to be popular with others, but not everyone can achieve this goal. What is the secret to popularity? In fact, it is very simple. The first step is to improve our appearance. We should always make sure that we stay in good shape and dress well. When we are healthy and well-groomed, we will not only look better but also feel better. In addition, we should smile and appear friendly. After all, our facial expression is an important part of our appearance. If we can do this, people will be attracted to our good looks and impressed by our confidence.
Another important step is developing more consideration for others. We should always put others first and place their interests before our own. It"s also important to be good listeners; in this way people will feel comfortable enough to confide in us. However, no matter what we do, we must not gossip. Above all, we must remember to be ourselves, not phonies. Only by being sincere and respectful of others can we earn their respect. If we can do all of the above, I am sure popularity will come our way.
如何才能受人欢迎
大部分的人都想受人欢迎，但是并非每个人都能达到目标。受欢迎的秘诀何在?事实上是很简单的。步骤一，先改善我们的外表。我们得确保自己很健康，并且穿着体面。当我们既健康又穿戴整齐时，不仅看起来更有精神，自己也会觉得好多了。此外，我们要保持微笑并表现得很友善。毕竟，脸部表情是外观很重要的一环。如果我们能做到这一点，别人会被我们的.美好外表所吸引，并对我们的自信印象深刻。
另一个重要步骤，就是培养对别人的体贴。永远以他人为重，并把别人的利益放在自己的利益之前。当个好听众也是很重要的;如此一来，别人才能很自在地对我们吐露心事。然而，不管我们做什么事，绝对不要说闲言闲语。最重要的是，要做自己，不要当虚伪的人。只有对人真诚又尊重时，才能赢得他人的尊敬。如果我们能做到以上几点，我相信受人欢迎是指日可待的事。
5分钟英语演讲稿2
We"ve all been taught that we should help people. It is the right thing to do and will make us popular with others. It may even win us favors in return. However, we must be realistic. We can"t say yes to every request. If we did, we would fail or go crazy for sure. Sometimes we sim* don"t have the time to help. In this case, we must know how to say no politely.
When we need to say no, here is one method we can try. First, we should tell the truth. If we really can"t do something, we should just say so. Second, we should remember to refuse requests politely. We must communicate clearly, but must also be sincere and sympathetic. A true friend will understand. Finally, we must not feel guilty about saying no. Sometimes refusing others is the right thing to do. It can save ourselves, and them, a lot of trouble. In short, we cannot please everyone all the time. Refusing favors is a part of life.
学习如何说不
我们都被教导说，我们应该要帮助别人。这是应该做的事，而且这样做会使我们受人欢迎。它甚至会为我们赢得一些回报。但是，我们必须要实际一点。我们不能答应每一个要求。如果我们这么做，我们就一定会失败或发疯。有时候我们确实没有时间去帮忙。既然如此，我们就必须知道如何有礼貌地说不。
当我们需要说不的时候，有个办法我们可以试试。首先，我们应该要说实话。假如我们真的办不到某件事，我们就应该说不。第二，我们应该记得要客气地拒绝对方的要求。我们必须清楚地表达，但态度也必须真诚并且表示同情。一个真正的朋友会谅解的。最后，我们不必为了说不而觉得有罪恶感。有时候拒绝别人才是我们应该做的事。它可以替我们自己和别人，都省下许多麻烦。总而言之，我们无法一直取悦每个人。拒绝请求是人生的一部分。
5分钟英语演讲稿3
I believe in our future
Honorable Judges fellow students:
Good afternoon Recently ther is a heated debate in our society. The college students are thebeneficiaries of a rare privilege who receive exceptional education atextraordinary places. But will we be able to face the challenge and support ourselvesagainst all odds Will we be able to better the lives of others Will we be ableto accept the responsibility of building the future of our country The cynics say the college students are the pampered lost generation whichwould cringe at the slightest discomfort. But the cynics are wrong. The collegestudents I see are eagerly learning about how to live independently. We help eachother clean the dormitory go shopping and bargain together and take part timejobs to supplement our pocket money. The cynics say we care for nothing other than grades and we neglect the needfor character cultivation. But again the cynics are wrong. We care dee* for eachother we cherish freedom we treasure justice and we seek truth. Last weekthousands of my fellow students had their blood type tested in order to make acontribution for the children who suffer from blood cancer. As college students we are adolescents at the critical turning point in ourlives. We all face a fundamental choice: cynicism or faith each will profoundlyimpact our future or even the future of our country. I believe in all my fellowclassmates. Though we are still inexperienced and even a little bit childish. Ibelieve that we have the courage and faith to meet any challenge and take on ourresponsibilities. We are preparing to assume new responsibilities and tasks andto use the education we have received to make our world a better place. I believein our future.
我对未来充满信心
尊敬的评委，各位同学：
下午好! 最近，社会上有一场很激烈的争论。大学生是一种稀有特权的享有者，在很棒的地方接受高等教育。但是，我们能面对挑战而无所畏惧吗?我们能够改善他人的生活吗?我们能够承担建设祖国未来的"重任吗? 怀疑论者说大学生是被宠坏的一代，一丁点挫折都受不了。但是他们错了，我所看到的大学生正在努力的学习独立生活。我们互相帮助打扫卫生，一起上街砍价购物，一起参加兼职工作来赚零花钱。 怀疑论者说我们除了成绩什么都不关心，从而忽略了性格的培养。但是，他们又错了。我们彼此关心，我们向往自由，我们珍惜公正，我们追求真理。上个星期，很多我的同学去验血，为了给患血癌的孩子贡献自己的力量。 作为大学生，我们是处在人生分水岭的青年。我们都面临一个重要的选择：怀疑人生还是相信自己，每一种都会给我们的人生带来重大的影响，甚至影响我们祖国的未来。我相信我们的同学们，虽然我们依然缺乏经验，甚至有些志气，但是我相信我们有勇气和自信来面对生活的挑战并承担我们的责任。我们正努力准备接受新的任务，用我们所学习的知识将世界变得更美好。我对我们的未来充满信心。
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展5）
——一分钟精彩英语笑话3篇
一分钟精彩英语笑话1
esent for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket(小盒式吊坠) as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave(雕刻，铭记) her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No, engrave it "To my one and only love". That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的"礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
一分钟精彩英语笑话2
t Knowing Her Well
Wife: Bill, the man in that house opposite always kisses his wife when he leaves in the morning and he kisses her again when he comes back in the evening. Why don"t you do that too?
Husband: Well, I don"t know her very well yet.
我跟她还不熟
妻子：比尔，住在对面那所房子的那个男人早上出门前总要吻一下妻子，晚上回来时再吻一下，你为什么不那样做呢?
丈夫：哦，我跟她还不是很熟。
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展6）
——三分钟笑话故事3篇
三分钟笑话故事1
1、走在路上突然想放屁，正好身旁有一个人在蹬摩托 ， 便想借此机会掩盖自己的的屁声， 哪知道用力过猛声音太大。 那摩托车手以为发动着了， 挂上档就要走 结果摔了一跤......
2、一女子在食人族的追击下，跑进一条死胡同，由于惊吓，尿湿了裤子。食人族见状大骂：真可惜，汤都弄撒了
3、计划生育部长下乡考察，见一老农，问道“老乡，知道为什么近亲不能结婚吗?”老农搓着手，憨厚的`说：呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵，亲戚，太熟，不好下手
4、小蚊子哭着回家，妈妈问咋啦?小蚊：爸爸死啦!蚊妈妈：他没带你去看演出?小蚊子：看了，可观众一鼓掌，爸爸没躲开。
5、这是个地老天荒的故事，在很久以前有一个小伙子失去了他心爱的姑娘，他历尽千辛万苦来到姑娘面前，姑娘深情地对他说：“……滚!”
三分钟笑话故事2
1、这是个很老的传说：在午夜12点整，拿起电话，按下12个0，你就会听见。。。。。。。。。。。。。您。拨。的。电。话。是。空。号。。。
2、今天晚上有流星雨，听说是大猪座的，到时会有一只大猪从天空飞过，可惜我要睡觉，你就好啦，有那么多人看着你飞!
3、屎克螂妈妈在门外大叫：儿子，不要再臭美了.搞个中分得了.半天，没有人回应.进去一看，不得了.儿子躺在地上，不省人事.屎克螂妈妈急得大叫：老头子，不好了.快叫救护车.屎克螂爸爸，问：怎么了?屎克螂妈妈又气又笑：这个衰仔，把杀虫剂当摩丝了!
4、我是一名中考阅卷老师。有一问题是怎样节约资源。看到一考生答案：“用小便冲大便。” 亮瞎我了的眼!默默给了满分 ....
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展7）
——简短的英语笑话课前三分钟 (菁选3篇)
简短的英语笑话课前三分钟1
Lifetime Warranty
终身保修
After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally hadenough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed thebody and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special aboutthis coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.
在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。
简短的英语笑话课前三分钟2
I Could Do It Slower
我可以干得慢一些
Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?
病人：拔一颗牙收费多少?
Dentist: Fifty dollars.
牙医：50美元。
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes" work?
病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元?
Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.
牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。
简短的英语笑话课前三分钟3
A lorry driver makes inquiry of a mountaineer :" Excuse me, where can I buy the autoaccessories in the neighborhood ?" Mountaineer says:" Some people usually drive heroic car onthe road .There is a abrupt turn ahead not far from here, and a clough just below it, where youcan find all kinds of the auto accessories . You will spend no money at all."
一个卡车司机向一山民打听：“请问，这附近哪儿能买到汽车配件?” 山民说：“这条路上经常有人开英雄车，前面不远处是个急转弯，急转弯的下面就是深谷，那深谷里什么样的汽车配件都有——根本用不着花钱。”
5分钟英语搞笑话剧剧本3篇（扩展8）
——英语课前演讲3分钟
英语课前演讲3分钟1
Winter was gone, spring comes. I love spring best, because it"s very beautiful. In spring, the weather is always sunny and rainy, it’s not cold and not hot, it’s warmer and warmer. The flowers begin to open and the trees begin to turn green. There are many butterflies and bees over the flowers. The butterflies are dancing and the bees are singing. The birds are singing in the sky, they are happy. The animals will go out to play. Many people like to go out and enjoy the sunshine. I like wearing my sweater and jeans, I like to fly kites, plant trees and see the beautiful flowers. Spring is colorful, I think it"s a wonderful season.
Winter was gone, spring comes. I love spring best, because it"s very beautiful. In spring, the weather is always sunny and rainy, it’s not cold and not hot, it’s warmer and warmer. The flowers begin to open and the trees begin to turn green. There are many butterflies and bees over the flowers. The butterflies are dancing and the bees are singing. The birds are singing in the sky, they are happy. The animals will go out to play. Many people like to go out and enjoy the sunshine. I like wearing my sweater and jeans, I like to fly kites, plant trees and see the beautiful flowers. Spring is colorful, I think it"s a wonderful season.
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